It’s summertime and that means it’s wedding season!! I am always honored when I am invited to participate in a bride’s big day wether it’s as a part of the glam squad working behind the scenes or as a guest at the event. There is a certain magic of being a part of such a memorable experience can be pretty emotional because I love love! But even more than being behind the scenes making magic happen with my hair pins and hot irons, I love being a wedding guest. For me it’s an excuse to get dressed up, get romantic, and party all night, and if your date is in the wedding party looking hot as hell in a tux, then it’s even better!
Such was the scenario recentely for me. I obsessed for weeks looking for the perfect dress – something I’m sure my friends were over hearing about on day one of my search. I found an inexpensive pair of comfy shoes, and dropped $40 on a very un-sexy pair of ultra high waisted compression undies, which were worth every penny. The wedding was beautiful, the crowd was vibrant and entertaining, and the food was delicious!! I had a great time and the event left me thinking about love and commitment and how truly special that is.
When two people come together and agree in front of family and friends that they will love and support one another forever, it’s a really beautiful thing. Beautiful not because the bride looks like a princess and the room is adorned with flowers, but beautiful because letting someone into your mind, your heart, and your life is one of the most difficult things to do. I’ve reflected a lot about this in my own world because I know intimately how hard it can be to let someone in and allow them to love you and all your broken little pieces, especially when you’ve been wounded. Heartbreak can feel like having a shotgun fired at it you leaving behind a million tiny little holes, like Swiss cheese. It can be hard to get new love to stick in there unless you have taken the time to fill the holes up with supportive friends, a positive mindset, and warm fuzzy thoughts about how amazing you are. I call this idea emotional porosity and I’m realizing that I am way better at fixing porous hair than I am at fixing my own porous heart.
The term “porosity” is important in the hair world and I’ll tell you why, but first let me make sure you know what it means. Porosity is the hairs ability to absorb and hold onto things like haircolor and water. The more porous your hair is the more likely that your haircolor will fade quickly or in some cases not even hold at all. If your hair is very damaged from chemicals then it is full of holes that need to be filled up before haircolor can stick. This can be done with treatments like the ones I mentioned in my last post, or with other haircolor. Once the holes have been filled in then the hair is ready to accept new color and be radiant. There is no such thing as a perfect fix however, and the treatments and coloring services still need to be maintained to keep the results good. So I guess that would be the same for porous hearts too. There’s no permanent fix, it will never be the same, but with a little soul searching, a little time, and a lot of trust the holes can start to fill up with new experiences and memories and love.
If you are wondering how porous your hair is pay attention to how long it takes your hair to get wet in the shower. Does is seem like you have to stand under the stream of water for 10 seconds or 5 minutes to get it fully wet? Also pay attention to how long it takes your hair to dry. Hair that is more porous will dry very quickly because it cannot hold onto the water very well. Hair that is healthier will take longer to dry. Once you’ve identified with your hairs porosity then you can begin to work with it!! The first step to solving a problem is identifying it right?! As for my porous little heart, I think I’m doing my best! But a little extra support never hurts.. So I found a qualified therapist in my neighborhood and next week I get to meet her for the first time and start to work on myself.