Let’s face it girls, we love to talk! We talk to our mothers, our friends, strangers, basically anyone who will listen (or at least pretend to). When we are talking to one another we will visit 10 different subjects in 5 minutes and never once consider the possibility that we are saying too much. As a hairstylist, I consider myself a professional conversationalist. I have heard so many crazy stories that I can and will talk about any and everything. While I’m working and getting to know a new client, this is a very valuable skill. However, recently it has become a problem for me because I am a single lady and I’ve started online dating. As it turns out, men have different preferences when it comes to conversation and I’ve had to learn the hard way that in the world of dating and getting to know someone new, less is way more! After being brushed off a few times after what I perceived to be great connections, it occurred to me that I must have a slight handicap in this arena because I’m so used to talking! I get paid to do hair, overshare, and listen and I just don’t know what’s ok to talk about with a guy I barely know and what I should just keep to myself. To avoid making the same mistakes I did I encourage you to head to the hairdresser and talk your hearts out so that when you find yourself sitting across the table from a hot guy you can focus on them not your drama.
First things first! Let’s go over the types of things that you absolutely want to mention to your hairdresser. These topics should come up during your consultation but if your hairdresser forgets to ask about them please feel free to bring it up or just fling it out there.
1.) Your Hair History: This includes every single chemical hair service, including hair color, that the hair on your head has been through. It’s imperative that your stylist have this information so that they don’t ruin your hair! Don’t hold back even if you think it’s not important, here’s your chance to overshare!
2.) Your Budget: To avoid the awkwardness of a money misunderstanding I recommended bringing this up right away! Don’t be shy – just ask, or better yet tell! I love it when someone tells me what their budget is because it opens up the conversation and allows me to strategize about what I CAN do for that price instead of what I CAN’T – and I love to say “I can do that!”
3.) Your Hair Routine: By this I mean what, when, why, where and how. What do you expect your hair to look like when we are all finished? When are you coming back to the salon to get your hair done again? Why do you want your hair the way you are asking me to do it? Where are you taking this hairdo; to work, to the gym, on a date? How will you maintain this look with hair products and styling tools?
Now let’s move on to topics that you should talk about with your hairdresser NOT your date, or any other man for that matter, unless your hairstylist is a man.
1.) Emotional Stuff: This includes anything that gives you “feelings”; a bad breakup, any insecurities you have about your physical appearance, arguments with family and friends, childhood traumas, and everything in between. Your hairdresser actually needs to know where you’re at in your life to help you avoid making any emotionally charged hair changes, like shaving your head after you just had a baby.
2.) Your Dreams For Your Future: So you want to get married and have 10 babies and save the whales… That’s awesome! Tell me about it and I’ll give you all the love and support you are looking for I promise!
3.) Your Favorite Things: This includes anything you like a lot and may go on and on and on about. TV shows, movies, food, gym exercises, shoes.. You get the picture.
4.) Gripes: I like to stay positive as often as I can but I know it’s not easy! If you need to get something off your chest you can tell your hairdresser about it. Sometimes a girl just has to let it out so they can let it go! If you feel the need to have a good cry go ahead, just do it before your hair is done or it might get confusing.
5.) Your Children or Pets: I have kids and I’ve had pets so I know how easy it is to talk about this subject. It’s a great way to fill the potential silence of a hair appointment, so feel free to share.
It’s safe to assume that anything you might talk about with your hairdresser is a subject best avoided with a man. If you can’t help yourself and you accidentally bring up something like this I suggest wrapping it up quick and moving on to a better subject. This happened to me recently and after I noticed and dialed it back a little my friend assured me that a “fly by” is ok, which I appreciated! If you want my advice on what to talk about with guys I say stick to topics about physical activities or just talk about them, they love that subject! Once you have someone in your life that’s decided they like you enough to hear all this about you then it’s fine to share but keep in mind that they still would probably rather that you shared it with your hairdresser.