It goes without saying that being “in control” is a good thing, or at least it’s perceived to be! Most conflict in our lives stems from the discomfort we feel when we are dealing with things that are, or appear to be out of our control. Often when this happens people will search for ways to “get a grip” on things and force control over something they can influence immediately, like their hair!! If you can relate to this scenario and are itching for a dramatic change, you first need to ask yourself if this transformation is something that will bring you a spark, or if it’s only going to leave you looking for a bag to wear over your head. I am notorious for giving into emotional hair decisions… It’s kind of a running joke with my friends. Just because I can change my hair at will doesn’t mean I should ( but I do ). I have to admit I’ve put my hair through a lot lately, but I think I’ve landed in a sweet new style that I’m all about!! After numerous chemical processes including a temporary keratin straightener, several bleaching and coloring episodes, and about 4 haircuts, I have developed a new look for myself. Once I decided to get my own hands out of my hair I took advantage of some very talented and empathetic stylist friends’ skills and thanks to them, I AM LOVING IT!!!
Ups and downs are always going to happen in life and the allure of instantaneous change will always exist. How can you tell if your inspiration for a new cut or color is a good idea or if you are dealing with a potential emotional hair crisis?
As a stylist I rely on a few rules to help me to decide if a client is really ready for a major change. I have been thanked many times for telling people “no” once they realized that the makeover they thought would solve all their problems, would have been colored with regret. Here are a few things I’m looking for that let me know you are indeed ready for a transformative hair change.
1.) You have mentioned the change more than once and we’ve had a discussion about the reality of it in your daily life. When I have a customer who suggests a big change but then chickens out, only to bring it up the next visit, and then the one after.. I see this as a big sign that they will be able to live happily with the decision. Within this time frame I will try to give the customer all the facts about the new look so that they can think about it and prepare themselves. I will also suggest they start looking for images to show me so that I know what they are looking for.
2.) You have a collection of inspirational images, a Pinterest board, or a style icon you’re stalking on Instragram who you are channeling in life at the moment. This kind of effort and research implies that there have been many hours logged into the daydream of the new style so it’s not just a whim. Most likely if we proceed with the change you will feel great! If this is the case I will make sure that we tailor the new style to you specifically because not everyone can wear every hairstyle.
3.) You have survived a very dramatic emotional trauma or emotional shift that is now coming to a close and you feel like a completely different person. This can be a divorce, a move, a new job, a new baby, graduating school, loss of a loved one, etc. The key factor is that these events need to be absorbed and digested before making a style shift or one may run the risk of making a decision that they are not ready for yet. Sometimes a new style can signify that you have changed significantly and a visual reflection of that is cathartic.
4.) You have already worn your hair in a similar style in the past and really liked it. In this case you may already be aware of the upkeep of the new style and you aren’t going to be in tears losing 10 inches of hair bc it’s not your first rodeo. It’s possible that your hair has changed since you last wore the style but adjustments can be made to make it work and to modernize the look.
5.) You have neglected the signs that you are operating from an emotional space of needing change and control and you’ve colored your hair 10 times in 4 weeks ; and in the process ruined your hair to the point that the best ( and only ) option is to it cut it off! This is most common in the case of myself and my fellow hairstylists. Avoid this if at all possible because you will be forced into change and you may love it, but you may not.
The message here is that we are constantly changing, growing, learning, and adjusting to the magic of life. There will be times when a style change is the cherry on top. A well timed makeover will inspire other people around you to consider a change as well, which is great! The key to pulling off a new look and making heads turn will be the dominance of confidence in your new style and in yourself. If you still aren’t sure of you are having an emotional hair crisis after reading this just ask a close friend and you will quickly have your answer. If you get the green light, then find a fabulous stylist to help you do it, and have fun with your new look!